For some reason I think this may sound horrible. I hope it doesn't.
Today I sat in the van with the windows open and read a book while Josie and Isaac played at a small neighborhood park nearby. I did not get out and play with them. As my little sister used to say when she was three years old, I just "couldn't want to."
The day was bright. The weather perfect. I was close enough to hear them laugh, but I couldn't hear if Josie was bossing Isaac around or if Isaac was calling Josie names. I watched Isaac push Josie on the swing and follow her to the van when she hurt her finger. Band-Aid in place, I watched them run back to the park and heard them whoop with delight.
My heart felt so full of gratitude for them, for the blessing they are in my life. I'm sorry to say, it's a gratitude that has been lacking lately. But watching them from that distance let me appreciate how small and young they are. Ten minutes in which no demands passed from me to them, or from them to me made a huge difference for me today.
Awww, I yikey them a yot! I had one of those moments last night with Jaylie when she got up coughing in the middle of the night. I stayed up with her in her bed until the Benedryl kicked in. We played iPod games and talked. During my turn on one of the games, she just looked at me and said, "I love you so much, Mommy." It was precious and worth the bags under my eyes today!
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